It has been 2 weeks and 3 days since we welcomed our second bundle of joy into our family and giving birth this second time was much easier than the first. The anxiety was higher with a planned C-section, but the recovery has been much easier. We were told that it would be easier, given how they could take their time and do things right compared to an emergency C-section, where they had to move fast.
And trust me, you feel that difference in your recovery.
Everyone says that the second child is super tough and the third child is…well, just another child. I don’t think the transition has been THAT tough. I mean, you now have two children you have to take care of. But you knew that before kid number 2 arrived.
My mornings are fairly relaxed right now, as I’m on mat leave. We sleep in, get out of bed around 8 (yes, that’s sleeping in when you have kids), and play with Play-Doh while I have my coffee and eat breakfast. My breakfast is often delayed, because the baby feeds first, then the toddler when he wakes up.
Once my husband goes back to work in 1.5 weeks, I’ll have to get up before both kids and have my shower and breakfast, so I can be hands-on with both kids.
But there’s another positive from having another child.
As I wrote before giving birth, my toddler was going through major separation anxiety. That seemed to ease after the baby arrived. It was as if he understood what was happening. We had all talked about the baby, and how he would become a big brother. We also had a book about becoming a big brother, a book he also read at pre-school.
The anxiety appeared to ease. He’s now hands-on with the baby. I’ll write more about how I prepared him for the baby and how he’s coping with the changes at a later time.
Overall, I feel much better now that he’s here. I feel I can close the chapter called pregnancy and miscarriages, and move on in a positive direction. Rather than worry about ever having a second child, I can put all of that energy into being a hands-on mother for the kids I have, and focus on my career and being a positive role model for my boys.
It’s odd to say, but I feel that giving birth allowed me to put the pain away and really focus on what I do have instead of everything I went through. But for a while there, I thought I would never be able to move on from losing three pregnancies, three babies that we never got to meet. A part of me will always wonder what they would have looked like, who they would have grown up to be, and how our lives would have been different.
But I got my boys and that’s what matters in the end.